Questions Answered...

I am so over people who cannot accept the reasons for WHY I am not with my kids instead of being in a town where I can get the medical help I need...Well here's why...Would you want to have your children watch you gradually fade away to nothing every single day of your life?? Or Would you as a single mother, no matter if you had support of family behind you or not, keep your children in an environment where they aren't happy because you as a mum aren't happy or can't physically look after them properly?? These are some of the questions I have had to consider in regards to MY children...and as far as I am concerned, for those who cannot believe that this was not an easy decision for me to make, then you obviously have no idea. And frankly, you won't unless you are going through this yourself. I watched my own mother, fade quickly with this same illness (Demyelinatng Leukodystrophy), the last thing I want for my own kids is not to see that every day of their lives...it's enough to scar them for life...I know leaving them behind with their father, who DOES his best to look after them, and Grandparents for the other two, I know they are safer there than with me permanent. I still see the older ones via webcam chat every week, they read stories to me, and show me paintings and work they have done at school, so they aren't missing out on time with me. My younger two, I have constant contact via sms with their carers...why they don't live with me, is because I am not well enough to care for them myself. Some days i barely have enough energy to care for myself, let alone young energetic livewires (kids) as well. Next question...Am I working? I run two home businesses from home, as well as helping others through tough times. Am I a qualified counsellor? Not yet, however I have very closely completed my Child Psychology degree,as part of the study to become a counsellor. Do I give advice for the complex needs of others...no..I talk of my own experiences as that is enough to help others through. I love my family and friends and I will do and give anything to help them when they need me. I love my kids even though I can't be with them physically. And for the record the older two boys, know that their mummy is sick, to what extent they don't know that as they are too young to understand...I hate people who look at me as 'sick and dying'..because I don't plan on giving up on life without a fight!