It is what it is. I am who I am.
I’ve made mistakes and stuff.
BUT NO ONE IS PERFECT!
If you hate me, I hate you. I don’t care.
I don’t care if you don’t like me, to be honest with you.
...That’s just the way it is. I’m not going to change for anybody.
I’m not going to kiss people’s butts and so on and so forth.
THAT'S NOT ME! SO SORRY FOR YOUR POOR JUDGMENT,
MAYBE TAKE A CLOSER LOOK!!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Personal Training and Weight Check
Today I did a one hour session at MGM Fitness, with personal trainer Samuel. Usually I have the support of my fiance Adam Z. but not today...well not physically, as he had other important things to attend too...however my man did ensure I was awake to go to training, and I he was there in thought. :).
What did I do? I did lunges, squats, stretches, walking on the treadmill, weight training and even had a go at boxing!! That was fun...Sam said he'd bring the real fighter out in me...lol...not so sure about that one. :S.
But above all it was fun, energetic, and I even felt better afterwards. Waiting for diet plan and other info to come through to my email for me to follow, as I really want the extra challenge to do more to make me feel better within myself.
What did I do? I did lunges, squats, stretches, walking on the treadmill, weight training and even had a go at boxing!! That was fun...Sam said he'd bring the real fighter out in me...lol...not so sure about that one. :S.
But above all it was fun, energetic, and I even felt better afterwards. Waiting for diet plan and other info to come through to my email for me to follow, as I really want the extra challenge to do more to make me feel better within myself.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Questions Answered...
I am so over people who cannot accept the reasons for WHY I am not with my kids instead of being in a town where I can get the medical help I need...Well here's why...Would you want to have your children watch you gradually fade away to nothing every single day of your life?? Or Would you as a single mother, no matter if you had support of family behind you or not, keep your children in an environment where they aren't happy because you as a mum aren't happy or can't physically look after them properly?? These are some of the questions I have had to consider in regards to MY children...and as far as I am concerned, for those who cannot believe that this was not an easy decision for me to make, then you obviously have no idea. And frankly, you won't unless you are going through this yourself. I watched my own mother, fade quickly with this same illness (Demyelinatng Leukodystrophy), the last thing I want for my own kids is not to see that every day of their lives...it's enough to scar them for life...I know leaving them behind with their father, who DOES his best to look after them, and Grandparents for the other two, I know they are safer there than with me permanent. I still see the older ones via webcam chat every week, they read stories to me, and show me paintings and work they have done at school, so they aren't missing out on time with me. My younger two, I have constant contact via sms with their carers...why they don't live with me, is because I am not well enough to care for them myself. Some days i barely have enough energy to care for myself, let alone young energetic livewires (kids) as well. Next question...Am I working? I run two home businesses from home, as well as helping others through tough times. Am I a qualified counsellor? Not yet, however I have very closely completed my Child Psychology degree,as part of the study to become a counsellor. Do I give advice for the complex needs of others...no..I talk of my own experiences as that is enough to help others through. I love my family and friends and I will do and give anything to help them when they need me. I love my kids even though I can't be with them physically. And for the record the older two boys, know that their mummy is sick, to what extent they don't know that as they are too young to understand...I hate people who look at me as 'sick and dying'..because I don't plan on giving up on life without a fight!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Bradley's journey Part 2
Here is the second part of Bradley's Journey...in this video you will see that there has been little improvement in this young boy's life. He still amazes people everyday...and always smiles.
BRADLEY'S JOURNEY.wmv
Here is the beginning to the Journey of Bradley Sorensen..our son who has special needs.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Study
For the past 3 months or so now, I have been undertaking a course of study to become a Youth Counsellor. So far I have almost completed my first module which is Child Psychology..with having 3 assignments to go. I enjoy the course thoroughly, and I feel that this is something that I will be good at doing.
Changing Life
Over the past month, I have had a few life changes...with illness, family/friends, businesses, and relationships...some were/are harder to get over, and I may never get over them, but the important thing here is I have an awesome support team, consisting of my sisters Paula n Kat, my housemate who is like a brother to me - Dan, my mum Kazza n family, my wonderful fiance Adam Ziemski, and my friends who are too many to mention :).
I have come through some highs and lows throughout, but I know that each step forward I take, is a turning point of progress made. I try to thank everyone for being part of my life in some way, and I know now that I can never thank them all enough, or as I should be. I have lost alot of 'friend' along the way, but I realise they weren't strong enough to handle my worst days...and I am ok with that.
Looking forward, I have a new life instore for me...I may not know what will happen, or how it will happen, bu I do know for sure that my support people are beside me 100%, if not more. So for that reason...I willbe strong as I can be. We have businesses to get off the ground, study to complete (almost completed Child Psychology..yay! - Thanks to my man for helping me and keeping me motivated throughout), family to visit and maintian contact with, and so much more that life has to offer.
For now, my family, friends, partner my world... :)
I have come through some highs and lows throughout, but I know that each step forward I take, is a turning point of progress made. I try to thank everyone for being part of my life in some way, and I know now that I can never thank them all enough, or as I should be. I have lost alot of 'friend' along the way, but I realise they weren't strong enough to handle my worst days...and I am ok with that.
Looking forward, I have a new life instore for me...I may not know what will happen, or how it will happen, bu I do know for sure that my support people are beside me 100%, if not more. So for that reason...I willbe strong as I can be. We have businesses to get off the ground, study to complete (almost completed Child Psychology..yay! - Thanks to my man for helping me and keeping me motivated throughout), family to visit and maintian contact with, and so much more that life has to offer.
For now, my family, friends, partner my world... :)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Why me??
I have been ill for the past few months now, and not getting any better. :(
In comparison to my birth mother who also had this nasty illness (Demyelinating Leukodystrophy) I have gone down hill rather quickly, in a short time, which I am not too happy about - but what can I do? NOTHING. Except for cast my focus onto bigger and better things to come.
The past few months, since being diagnosed from this hereditory illness, I have been mixed up like a rubix cube, and at times very emotional. How do I deal with this? The easiest way I know how...and that is to be around people who can accept that I am changing, and who will always be there for me, and atleast mean it when they say it. The past few days has been like a part out of a horror movie...I have had hairloss, where my hair was practically dry and limp, and was unfortunately falling out in places, along with a drop in weight. Could this be me, fading away to nothingness? Hell no! Because no matter how hard this gets, for me or the people around me, I WILL be strong, positive and faithful to the bitter end. Why? Because so many good things are starting to fall into place for me now, and I want to see what happens to the what could be - 'fairytale ending'. In reality I know I may not have long left (from a medical point of view), but I want to make the most of however much time I have left, while I still have the energy (along with help from ACT Drinks, for the extra boost), and actually start doing something with my life. I have one, soon to be two businesses to focus on, I have a newish relationship which is blossoming and growing day by day, I have my kids - who I live for, and intend on visiting real soon. There is so much for me to do, that will keep me busy for a lot longer yet. I don't want/need people to feel sorry for me..that's not going to help me in anyway. I need people in my life now, who are uplifted, positive people. Yes - there are changes happening to me - but if you can't accept them as they happen, then sorry I do not have room for you in my life anymore.
In comparison to my birth mother who also had this nasty illness (Demyelinating Leukodystrophy) I have gone down hill rather quickly, in a short time, which I am not too happy about - but what can I do? NOTHING. Except for cast my focus onto bigger and better things to come.
The past few months, since being diagnosed from this hereditory illness, I have been mixed up like a rubix cube, and at times very emotional. How do I deal with this? The easiest way I know how...and that is to be around people who can accept that I am changing, and who will always be there for me, and atleast mean it when they say it. The past few days has been like a part out of a horror movie...I have had hairloss, where my hair was practically dry and limp, and was unfortunately falling out in places, along with a drop in weight. Could this be me, fading away to nothingness? Hell no! Because no matter how hard this gets, for me or the people around me, I WILL be strong, positive and faithful to the bitter end. Why? Because so many good things are starting to fall into place for me now, and I want to see what happens to the what could be - 'fairytale ending'. In reality I know I may not have long left (from a medical point of view), but I want to make the most of however much time I have left, while I still have the energy (along with help from ACT Drinks, for the extra boost), and actually start doing something with my life. I have one, soon to be two businesses to focus on, I have a newish relationship which is blossoming and growing day by day, I have my kids - who I live for, and intend on visiting real soon. There is so much for me to do, that will keep me busy for a lot longer yet. I don't want/need people to feel sorry for me..that's not going to help me in anyway. I need people in my life now, who are uplifted, positive people. Yes - there are changes happening to me - but if you can't accept them as they happen, then sorry I do not have room for you in my life anymore.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Welcome to DrinkACT--Join the Energy Revolution!
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Whether it's morning, afternoon, or at night, A.C.T. will keep you going or make you go. Plus, you get to experience what is being referred to by consumers as 'The Feel Good' product.
New Diagnosis - Demyelinating Leukodystrophy
About 3 weeks ago.. I was confirmed to have Demyelinating Leukodystrophy. This is an illness that affects the Nervous System, nerve endings and affects the myelin sheath otherwise known as the white matter on the brain. So far how it has affected me, is in the left hand I have limited use, and do occasionally get muscle aches in my legs, and arms. However, I am determined to not allow this to affect me as I have so many things I want and need to do with my life - watching my kids grow up and start high school, and completing my studies and become a Counsellor. I have great support in my life now, with my family back home in Gympie, and in my partner, Adz. I was supposed to go see a specialist at the end of this month but that had to be rescheduled so won't be happening til end of February in the new year. And also have a lot to look forward to in the coming year..so will kept busy, one way or another.
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